Saturday, August 30, 2008


Well-we got the call that my Aunt just died :(. She died from cancer and was too young to go. Please pray for my Mom, as she is close to all of her sisters and for my cousin, who will now have to face life without her Mom. I can not imagine what she must be feeling right now-she is just 2 years older than me so we were close growing up. I know that my aunt is in heaven now and she has no pain, for that I am happy, but it is such a loss for all of us that she left behind. She was such a giving person-she dedicated her life to helping others,she took in the people that others shunned,she lived her life in such an unselfish manner-always putting other people ahead of herself. She will be missed dearly. I know that right now, she is spending time with my Grandma-she had been asking for her the last few days and since I told my Grandma, before she died, to find my baby and take care of her when she got there...I know that Aunt Dot is also with my baby girl!
Picture:Right to left-Aunt Dot, Her daughter-Cindy, and my Aunt Maggie
Today the kids are all at a birthday party-Maddie and Spencer are going to be spending the night over there, but Brooke decided that she'd rather come home and finish up her homework so she can spend time with the family the next two days.

Spencer lost his left hearing aid at school yesterday-the teachers all looked for it and Brett even went by after work to look for it some more. It is no where to be found! Spencer said that another kid accidentally pushed him down on the playground and it fell off then. His ear mold and tubing stayed in but the actual hearing aid is gone. All Children's specialty care is going to loan us one until his insurance can approve ordering a new one. We can go by on Tues. and pick it up but I feel so badly that he has to go without until then. When he came home from school and told me that it was gone he kept asking me if was "gonna cost lots of money".

My recovery has been steady-but the last few days have been a little worse. Today, my home health nurse came over and she told me that it was a normal part of the recovery. She told me that the muscles (yes! they had to cut through several muscles and stitch them back up) and the nerves that were cut are starting to regenerate and heal and that will cause the pain to increase for a while. She said the same thing about the "donor site" beginning to hurt worse too. I am so glad that they have a nurse that keeps coming out to check on me-it helps knowing that the things that I am feeling are normal.

My Mom, Dad and brother have had to evacuate from their home today. As most know, they live in LA.-south of New Orleans. They lost their home and most everything they owned during Katrina-I just pray that they do not have to live through that again! My Mom's sister is not doing well-they do not expect her to live much longer-I wish that my Mom did not now have to deal with another storm on top of dealing with her sister's illness.

That is pretty much it. Not too much to report today. It is a rainy, sleepy day.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

This morning I went for a walk-but I did not make it as far as I did yesterday. The side walks in this neighborhood are bad! Funny thing is I never noticed it before (there are a lot of things I have noticed-I now have a greater empathy for the handicapped-this world is not set up to accommodate them)! Anyway-my walker got caught on an uneven piece of sidewalk-but I did not realize it, I kept walking and then I felt the "jerk". I kicked the side of my walker by mistake and I felt the pain instantly. :( So, I cut my walk short-Hopefully, I will be able to get out later in the evening.
Last night, my hip was bothering me pretty badly-I do not know if it was because I walked so "far" yesterday or why it started up again. The pain is from the location that they took bone from. I have talked to some people who have said that the pain from the bone graft was worse than the pain from the back surgery-not even CLOSE for me though! My physical therapist is coming over this afternoon-I will ask him what I should do about it.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I am getting there!

Today has been a good day for me-the pain is less today and I also got out and went for a walk! I walked up and down 2 streets-which is the farthest I have gone since my surgery! It took me long enough-about 45 mins! It feels so good to be "active" (kinda) again! Tanya came by this morning and brought me Starbucks coffee and visited for a while. She has graciously volunteered to do our grocery shopping during my recovery, so she is out doing that now. I can not say enough how blessed I am! You know the scripture verse that says to "test God" and see if He will not pour out a blessing that you will not have room enough to contain? Well.....we have been so blessed that we literally do not have room enough to contain it! We have food stored on the counters, on top of the fridge, cupboards, .....even in the bedroom closet! Our "cup is running over"! God is so good to us and I keep praying that all those who have helped us in any way will receive a 100 fold blessing!

Ok-everyone knows the story of how God provided a FULL paid scholarship for the kids to go to Christian school-but I just wanted to say what a blessing that has already turned out to be!! I am so thrilled when the kids come home with homework -having to memorize scripture! Every aspect of their learning is based on the Bible! Even Maddie's science book is titled "learning about the world God made"! History,science,english.....they are all centered around God. I should not be shocked by this-I grew up in a Christian school but there is just something so different about being able to see my kids go to one! Spencer came home one day and said that they had "prayer request" time and he asked them to pray for my back. Sweet-so precious! He is a "mess"-that child! Let me tell you! He came in to the bedroom one day, while Brett was helping me put on my brace, and he saw my scar-he exclaimed "WHAT DID YOU DO?"-he was so serious-I just had to laugh. He knew I had "surgery" but obviously had no idea what that meant. I told him that the doctors had to cut me there to fix my back-he asked "well, how come you didn't die?", In his mind-if you get cut open like that you have to die. He still keeps saying "I just do not understand why you did not die". Oh-then last night, while we were eating supper he asked "why do people keep bringing us food?"-we have been getting a meal brought to us every night for the last 2 weeks and he just now asked why! Last night's meal was a big hit with him-he said "I can eat this forever"! He keeps us laughing! Part of the reasons why he doesn't understand things or that he says things that are not quite worded right is because he has "auditory processing disorder"-he has been getting a lot better but he still struggles with it some. God is faithful and I believe that he will be able to overcome it all together!! Well-Tanya will be back soon-so I am gonna quit for now.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Today has also been a quiet day. I watched a little TV-surfed the web (and talked to some people I've met online who have had similar surgeries to mine)-lets see.....I emailed my Mom back and forth (she surprised me by ordering some Kcups for my coffee maker that they bought me for my B-day----which I still LOVE!)....oh! and the physical therapist came today-he worked with me on my walking, I even got to take a few steps without my "granny walker"! I also went for a walk around the block-all by myself! I brought my cell phone-just in case. I know I should not be doing that, but it really is driving me nuts, being shut up in the house! Maddie put the pouch, from the front of her bike , on my walker and I use it to put my phone,keys,water bottle in-oh, and the "best part"?
It says "Girl's world" on the front! I really look ridiculous-REALLY! So, that is about it. It is after 1:00 now, the kids will be home in a couple of hours. Think that I will go take a nap! Yawn..

Oh! I found out today that Canon is releasing a new camera-a 50D. They just came out with a 40D not that long ago. The new one has like 15 mega pixels! I am not at all "tempted" though-I shoot with a 5D, which is a pro model, and I absoultely LOVE it! What aggrivates me is that I could buy TWO 50Ds for the price I paid for my 5D!

Monday, August 25, 2008

A blessing

Tonight Michelle came by and brought us supper-we have been so blessed by all the meals that we have gotten! She brought a really good hamburger casserole, croissants, and and amazing salad. All of it was sooooooo good! She also brought sweet tea and soda-but-what amazed me was that she brought all kinds of goodies for us too! Paper towels, cookie dough,tons of chocolate candy (the best kind too-kit kats,almond joys,Hersey all know how I love sweets!), ice cream bars, individual bags of chips (great for the kids' lunches).... . I thought that it was so kind of her to do all of that. I am so humbled by people like her who just jump right in and help others and then go "over and beyond" the norm. I am humbled by how the people, who have helped us, take time out of their busy days to shop and cook, spend their hard earned money to be a blessing to my family. Brett just has so much on him right now-he is having to do EVERYthing right now and I am so glad that making meals is one thing that he is not having to do (my whole family is glad of that-as he can't cook :). Our budget has been better this month since we have not had to buy hardly any groceries! Anyhoo-I just wanted to thank Michelle and everyone else who has been a blessing to us! You are all included in our family prayer time! I pray that God gives you all a 100 fold return!

WOW! That make 2 times today that I have blogged-can anyone tell that I am bored? Believe me people-staying home all day, laying around watching tv and surfing the web for 6 weeks-is not as much fun as it sounds!

BTW-the doc says that the radiologist "misread" my xray-I guess (hope)that means that there is not a tube left in me after all.
Wow! The house is really.....really quiet! Brett went back to work today :( . The kids are in school....I always have a hard time when the kids first go back to school-but this year it is even worse since I can not get out and do things to keep me busy! I've already watched a movie this morning-now what? Well, I did just call my primary doctor back-I have been waiting for her to return my call since last Thursday! They asked me to fax the stomach xray report to them-which we did and she never called me back on it! When I just called they said that they received it so they are not sure what is taking her so long. Hopefully she'll call today! What I do not understand is why weren't ALL my records given to her? I know they have the whole "privacy act" and all but she is listed as my primary doc on my insurance-the next time I go to USF I guess I will request that she get the reports (not that she really cares-obviously!). I think that she should at least look over them and see what all was done to me. A lot of my blood work was out of whack too-one that was supposed to range from 75-110 was actually 510-consistently through out my hospital stay. Other things were way too low. I do not know what any of it means but I'd feel better knowing that she's at least seen the reports. I just do not understand why these things were not resolved or at least discussed while I was in the hospital. I guess the Neurosurgeon did feel the need to be concerned with there being a tube in me that does not belong there or that my blood work was "off". Alright, alright....I know I am getting testy-sorry. I am just getting tired of dealing with it all and I need to vent. I am done now!
With that behind me, I AM feeling a little better. I have times when the pain is worse and I am still exhausted (how is that even possible when I am doing NOTHING?!) but overall I can not complain. I have talked to so many people online, who had smaller operations, and they are still in a lot of pain-and still having to take pain meds. I am not sure if that is just because everyone has a different tolerance to pain or if I am just some kind of "freak of nature" for doing as well as I am doing! I just feel like I have lived with this for so many years-it is easier to deal with the pain now since I know it will be getting better in the end! Make sense?

Well, it is about 11:30 and I have a whole hour and a half to get ready to go. Liz is picking me up and taking me to pick up the kids from school and then taking us to Spencer's Audiogram (hearing test). He had to have an updated one so that the state would release his FM system (his "trainer") to the Christian school. Which is a HUGE blessing-it is only because God's favor on our lives that he is even getting a System-they are normally only provided to the public school system! His deaf and hard of hearing resource teacher has been with him since he was 3 years old(actually-he was still 2 when they met!) and she put up a fight for him! The FM system is so vital to his education-it has a microphone that the teacher wears and special hearing aids that are hooked up to it-so the teacher can mute all other sounds in the classroom-except her voice. She can also set it to include other sounds for group discussion times. With his regular hearing aids-he hears ALL sounds equally-background noise and all-so it is helpful for him to have. It is gonna take me a while to get up and brush my hair (and attempt to dress myself) so I am gonna get up and get started! I need a nap just thinking about it!

Saturday, August 23, 2008


Lately I have been missing my photography business so badly! I guess I am missing it worse since I realize that this is the time of year when it really "picked up". Anyway, I often visit my website and look at my work to motivate me to get better faster-but soon, my website will expire and I will have to let it go :(. I just can not justify renewing the (almost $200) fee while I am not working. One day though-I will be able to go back to work-and I know that I can start up another site. I am just bummed because I know that I will lose my domain name (web address) and my former clients may not be able to locate me again. It also feels "safe" having it-it may sound strange but I feel safe knowing that my portraits (some of them at least) are there and not just in one of my computers or even backed up on a disc somewhere. I am gonna stop feeling sorry for myself now! I will get back to work one day-I loved my "job", I loved the feeling that I got from creating a portrait that a client fell in love with. Knowing that the pictures that I took will be cherished for years and will be a part of a family for a lifetime is an amazing feeling-almost as though I have "left my mark" here on the earth. If you'd like to take a last look.......

Here are just a few of my favs.


I am one of those people who opens every bill to review all the charges-some companies count on most people not caring! Anyhoo-I opened my Verizon bill today and noticed that it was nearly $40.00 more than it should have been. Looking into it I saw a charge from "ILD teleservices"-it stated it was for a "interconnect Internet access monthly fee" and it gave me a 3rd party phone # to call with questions. So, I give them a call to find out what was going on-turns out that someone entered my name, address, phone # and email address into a online contest and it automatically signed me up for a voice mail service that is billed by a 3rd party to my phone bill! I asked what IP address was tracked from the entry (to make sure it was not actually one of my computers that signed me up-never know with kids!) and it was a different Ip address! So, basically ANYone who has your basic info can have services billed to YOUR phone bill and most of the time they can get away with it as long as you do not check for the charges. Some of the charges may be only $4 or $5 but others can be $30 or $40, depending on what all the person orders. The crazy thing is that Verizon actually allows them to do it! We have our phone/Internet/DVR (tv) through them-so they know that they already provide us with voice mail and the know what our IP address is-so why would they let someone order that service from an IP address that is not ours? I am so furious! At this point I have spent 2 & 1/2 hours dealing with this!

At any rate......I wanted to remind everyone to check ALL of your bills when they come in! You may be shocked at what you find!

Update and "The case of the missing chocolate!"

I have been good-I 've spent most of my time in bed, as ordered. Today, a couple of Moms from the church came by and picked up the kids and took them bowling. I am sure that they are enjoying getting some time away! We have been so blessed by all the help that we have been getting! Each night we pray for the family who brought us a meal-last night we had grilled chicken and grilled veggies,rice and watermelon! I have learned that we have some really good cooks in our church! Linda also loaned us 2 movies-from the Christian book store-and gave us some popcorn. We watched the first movie last night, it was really good! It was about a basketball coach who takes on coaching a girl's basketball team. Tomorrow night we are going to watch the 2nd one.

Brett just left for work and with the kids being gone this house is so quiet! It's the first time I have been left alone since my surgery-a little scary but I am ok. Brett got everything set up for me so it is all within reach. know how sometimes the tinyest thing can just drive you nuts? Well, the week after my surgery I got a gift from my "secret sister" at church. She bought me a beautiful picture frame and a card-well, in the card she wrote something like "I love chocolate too!". So, my question is...what happened to my chocolate?! There was not any chocolate in the bag-doesn't it sound like that there used to be? Maybe not...maybe she was just stating that we have something in common..who knows? Anyhoo-I guess I will have to wait 6 months (for the reveal) to find out! I just think it was kinda weird-that's all. If you happen to be my secret sis-thanks for the frame! It is perfect! And...if there happened to be chocolate in the bag and it just did not quite make it to me-don't worry! I really do not need it anyway! I am moving at a snail's pace (when I am moving!) and I am worried about not being able to fit into my clothes once I am allowed to take the brace off! (I am in elastic waisted clothes for now). I guess it is just something to keep me guessin'!

Friday, August 22, 2008

our new car

Well....we did it. We bought a new car with an automatic transmission. I did not think it would be possible to find a car for the same payment that we were paying. God worked it out in our favor and we ended up buying a brand new Kia Sorrento-it is the same size as our Saturn Vue. Our payment will actually be $6.00 less per month that what we were paying on our 2005 Vue! It was hard for me to trade in my Vue though...I really liked that was red-my fav! :( I know that not having to drive a stick shift will be better for my back so I know that we did the right thing but it is still kinda hard to see it go. I have always kidded around about not being able to drive an automatic-the last time that I had to I almost put us all through the wind shield when I hit the break, thinking it was the clutch! I guess it will just take some time to get used. Anyhoo-trying to shop for a car the last two days got me in a little "trouble" with my physical therapist. He "sentenced" me to bed for 2 days :(. I know that I should not have been out taking care of that, but it needed to be done before Brett has to go back to work next week. It is done now-so I will be good from now on! I irritated something in the left side of my spine so I am going to follow my PT's orders and stay in bed!

I have to just say....I was so excited when they pulled our credit for the car! We've always (only-ONLY by the grace of God) had really good credit but the people at the shop were stunned when they saw our score-I kidded with Brett because my score was higher than his!! Mine was 833 and his was "only" 805. I do not have any idea how one of ours could be lower or higher than the other but somehow it is. Anyways-I am thankful to God for His grace and His favor!
Update: I just called to transfer my car insurance and that monthly payment also went down! It turns out that the new car gets more discounts since it has a lot more safety features. :)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

My Doctor's appt.

Today I went to USF for my doctor's appt. I got all the staples removed-I am so glad to get rid of them! It hurt like "the devil" as they pulled them out one by one-I kinda thought (hoped) they would numb the area first but I had no such luck. My sweet husband's hand was purple by the time they finished taking them out-I squeezed the life out of him! The doctor said I am doing well-he told me that I need to be more patient with myself and I needed to remember that I am only 2 weeks post op. He also told me that I can not drive for THREE months!:( Since both our cars are stick shifts I will not be able to drive. If I had an automatic it would only be about 6 weeks. I am not sure what I am going to do about that-Brett wants to check on getting an automatic car, but I do not think that is such a great idea since we'd probably be "upside down" on the "Vue".
I got my medical records from the hospital today, I was a little stunned by what I read. I found out that the surgeon took bone from my hip (which I knew about) but he also took bone from my spine and he also used cadaver bone from a bone bank. He never mentioned using cadaver bone nor did he mention using both spine and hip bone for the bone graff. Not such a big deal I guess, but I just want to know everything that was done to me. Let's see...I also found out that he did do the facet fusion too. All the other "stuff" in the OR report was foreign to me-a lot about the type of drills, screws, rods, and cage that he used. I also got the report from my stomach xray that was ordered since I could not stop throwing up. I have not blogged about the whole thing but when I was in the hospital the nurse came in and told us that he reviewed xray and he asked my Mom if I have kidney dialysis-she told him "no" but asked him "why?". He would not answer her. Then, the next shift nurse came in and told us that she reviewed the xray and asked if I had a kidney "stint". We never found out why the were asking such questions but I read the report and it says that I have a suggestion of a "peritoneal dialysis catheter" (whatever that is!). Anyhoo, I am going to get that checked out once I am feeling better. I've had frequent kidney infections in the past and both my girls had a kidney disorder (Brooke had surgery but Maddie's corrected on its own) so I am a little bit concerned. I know that I will get it all worked out though. Well, I am tired from my "big day out". I'll keep in touch!

Update: Gotta love google....I found out that the peritoneal dialysis catheter is actually a catheter that they use for kidney dialysis (kinda what I figured). I have never had anything like that before so how would something like that get inside me?! I just hope that the surgeon did not leave anything behind when he did my surgery!
Today I am going to USF to get my staples out! I am so excited to be getting rid of them! There are 40 of them and they are starting to itch in a really bad way! It is even worse since my brace covers them and I can not get to them! At least now I will be able to put some anti itch cream on the scar!

We just got a call from the Christian school that the kids go to-it turns out that the scholarship program, that our kids get, has decided INCREASE the amount of money that they will pay out to the school! That means that we will be getting a refund for the $150 we already paid out and we will not have to make the last payment of $75! When we first registered the kids we thought that we would have to pay about $2,000 to make up the balance not paid by the scholarship-but since we have 3 kids in the school they gave us a discount and it left us having to pay around $225. That means we will not have paid a single cent to put our kids in the Christian school that WE chose! What a huge blessing! God is so good to us!

Monday, August 18, 2008

The first day of school went well for the kids-I only wish I could have been the one to walk them to their class rooms this morning :(. I have not even met the teachers yet! Spencer has already made a friend-but he did tell me that one little boy kept asking him questions about his hearing aids. He told me that he just told him "will you just stop talking about my hearing aids!". I did not get the feeling that he was making fun of him but probably more curious. Maddie's teacher sounds "tough" but I think that Maddie will get used to her after a while. She only has 4 girls in her whole class! One other girl was also new so she made friends with her. Brooke had volleyball practice until 5:00-she just got home and she had a great day too! She has an 11th grader "stalking" her (as she said)-he knew her name and said "hi" to her but she says she doesn't know him. He acted as though she should know who he was. I laughed at her and she said "oh! I am glad you feel my pain Mom!-I wanted to call the cops!). Funny.

I think I need to clarify some things about my surgery and recovery. I had major surgery-and I feel that considering that, I am doing well. I know that I still have a long road ahead of me. It seems that some people thought I would not even be able to walk for 6 weeks-I do not know where they came up with that.From everything I have read, walking is encouraged. My surgeon has not told me much of anything except I would be "out of commission for 6 weeks"-but I have researched the surgery and talked to other people and they all say walking will be helpful to my recovery. Also, when I say "walking" I mean "shuffling" (at this point)-my legs and feet are still numb so it is really hard for me to walk. I can not stand or walk without my walker either. I guess that because I have a positive attitude people have taken it that I am "well". I do not mean to be dishonest in any way when I say how well I am doing-I am not "well"-but I am trying to get well. Another thing I think that some people may not understand is when I say "the pain is not much worse than before the surgery" it doesn't mean that I have no pain-very few people really know the pain that I lived with for so many years because I did my very best not to let it keep me from living my life to the fullest. I try not to whine and complain-I feel that it doesn't change anything and there are so many people who have it so much worse than me that it is a insult for me to pout. I am not sure why it has bothered me so much that a few people have made comments about me being up and walking-I guess because I do not want anyone to think that I am taking advantage of my husband,kids,church family,friends..... . I have needed every bit of help that I have gotten. I can not do much for myself yet. I am now able to use the bathroom alone-with the help of my "potty chair":)-I can get myself in and out of bed most of the time and I can now shower, sitting on my chair, without someone being in the shower with me. It has been hard for me to ask for help and to receive it. Like I said, I do not know why I let this get to me-I have never really cared what anyone thought before but, since I am facing these challanges and it has been so difficult for me, I let it get to me.

All of that being said.......I will continue to have a positive attitude and outlook. I plan on doing everything I can do to get better and I and I am trusting God to continue to bring me through!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Not much has changed the last couple of days-pain level is still the same (bearable even w/o Tylenol). Last night I woke up at 12:30 am when Brett came home from work (his limo job) and I took off the brace. It felt so good to sleep without the brace(for the 1st time!)-it is made of solid plastic-it is very hot and not at all comfy! I made it until about 7:00 am until I had to get up and go to the bathroom-It has to be on me unless I am laying flat so I had Brett put it back on .I am still worried about every little move I make, every time I roll over or reach for something and I feel that "pull", I get scared. I know that the screws, rods,cage.....that they put in me must be pretty tough but I still worry. I am sure with time I will forget that they are even there!
I actually got out today (shhh....don't tell on me!). We went to WalMart to buy Brooke some knee guards for volleyball. She is on the team at their new school! I think it will be a good way for her to make friends. Anyhoo, WalMart was NUTS (isn't it always?)-I think it was even more crazy because the threat of a hurricane and since school starts tomorrow. It was kinda hard walking through the store with my walker-slow as ever-while there were so many people there. I am worn out! No the less, it was nice to get out for a few minutes. So........tomorrow the "babies" all start school :( . Brooke is now in 7th grade, Madeline is in 4th and Spencer is in 2nd. As most of you know, they are going to a Christian school this year, such an answer to prayer! They got a full scholarship to attend and we are so excited about it.
The craziness at the McCann household is still in full swing-but I know that God is still faithful. I have been getting overwhelmed by everything -we have had electric issues(they say it will cost $2,500 to repair!), plumbing issues, budget issues -paid our power bill 2 days before they were to cut it off! (That has NEVER happened!) on top of focusing on getting better it has been a rough road. But, you know what? I am still in a good place-I know that God is still in control and He still has a plan for us. Brett's jobs have been very slow the last few months-but thankfully, our needs are not met by his jobs. God is not limited! My Mom buying us all the groceries/supplies that she bought (she stocked us up for months at SAM's club!), and all the church people and my friends bringing us supper each night is really going to help out our budget this month. I am real.....remember? I do not want to waste any experience that God can use to help someone else or bring glory to His name. God has blessed us in so many ways! If I had to choose between the blessing of financial abundance or the blessings that we now have.....without a thought-I would choose the blessings we have! One day, we may have both-but even if we don't, I am blessed beyond measure! Our marriage is insane (in a good way :)! We laugh and love and respect/prefer each other. It is greater than any dream I could have had growing up, imagining my Prince charming! Our children are healthy and brilliant (if I may say so myself)! We own our home (as humble as it may be-it is a warm place), we have transportation (there was a time before when we didn't)......I could continue-but I think you get the point. We are blessed! God is good-God is faithful-His Word is still true!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Well....My mom just left to go back home :(. The girls are still crying and I am sad to see her go. She has been such a blessing to me while she was here! Before my surgery she took me and bought me some baggy clothes and pjs (since my clothes will not fit over the brace)-while I was in the hospital she was an incredible help to me, I could not have survived without her there! She was the one holding the "puke bucket" and she had many other duties that are better left unsaid! Since I have been home she has taken care of my kids and my house-she bought us a ton of groceries and necessities . I am going to miss her so much! I have enjoyed being able to spend time with her and just sit and talk to her. She made me a quilt to bring to the hospital (I love it! when I am better I will take pics)-when she just left, she told me and the girls that she prayed over us while she was making each of our quilts and she prayed that when we wrapped ourselves up in our blankets that God would wrap us in His love. I will cherish my new "baa boo" (what Bubba calls his "blankie") forever!
I feel very blessed to be able to call her my Mother!

The last few days have been basically the same, as far as my recovery goes. I am getting around better-but I still rely on my walker. The level of pain is still the same-it is really not that bad. I am most frustrated by not being able to do simple tasks-like get myself a bottle of water, or shower without a team of people getting it set up (I still feel badly about asking for and accepting help-but I know that it is something that I am going to have to keep doing over the next couple of months). I have a 3 in 1 chair that I use over the toilet (so I do not have to bend down to sit) and Brett has to put it in the tub so I can sit for my shower. I have to wear my brace as long as I am not lying flat-which includes the shower. I even sleep in it since I always have to wake up to go to the bathroom and it takes a lot of effort and energy to put it on-Brett has to put it on me-it would not be possible to get it on by myself. I have to wear it for 3 months-it is gonna feel good to be free from it! No complaints here though! This is a answer to years of prayers! Remembering that is helping me get through this!
Yesterday, Karen came over and spent the day with me-I enjoyed getting to see her. Then, last night, some of my other "sisters" came over. Tanya, Nikki, and Amee came and brought over Starbucks coffee and Panera bread goodies (YUM!) It was nice to be able to sit and have coffee with them all! It is the next best thing to being able to actually leave this house. I was looking forward to seeing them all day.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Today has been a bit harder than yesterday :( . The pain has been worse for some reason. I did go for a walk around the block this morning-but now I just can not get comfortable. I know that I should expect that some days may not be as good as others but it is still frustrating to feel like I am taking steps backwards.
Christina, from my church, came by this afternoon and picked up all the kids and took them to her house to play and swim with her kids. She is going to take them to church tonight-she also brought by supper to give Brett and my Mom a break! :) . I am so grateful for all the help that I have been getting! I could not have come as far as I have without everyone pulling together to help!
God is still good-He is still faithful-He still provides!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I have done SO well today! I think that my biggest hurdle now will be to remember my limits even when I feel well. I am still dependent on the walker but I was able to walk around the block this evening! My blog is under construction right now-I think that the site may be having issues because it will not let me edit my colors/font.... . Anyhoo-I will have plenty of time to work on it!
Hurray! I got out of bed by myself 3 times this morning! I have an adjustable bed-so I raise the head of the bed and I am half way there! I have been thanking God all morning for His grace and mercy! I woke up early (6:15 am)-so I am a little tired but I am feeling so much better this morning! I have a little more feeling in my right foot and leg. The physical therapist told me yesterday that it may take around 100 days for nerves to regenerate and get back all the feeling. He also told me that I was not getting enough circulation to either of my feet or legs-they feel like ICE even if I am hot. He gave me some exercises to do and told me to keep socks on my feet. The occupational therapist is going to call today and set up a schedule for him to come out a few times a week too. I am doing anything and everything I can to speed my recovery up.
Noah's Grandma came by yesterday and took Spencer to the park and to McDonalds with Noah (thanks Karen)-it was good for him to get out of the house for a while. Melissa also came by yesterday and brought a TON of fruit for us (thanks girl!)-it did not take long for Maddie to find the apple slices! I enjoyed having her over and it gave Spencer a chance to play with TJ. Thanks again for all your prayers and support! Keep um comin'!! :)

Monday, August 11, 2008


Today has been pretty much the same as yesterday :( . I did not sleep that well again last night. I think I am more emotional today because my lack of sleep. I feel the burdens of Brett, Mom and the kids-Brett looks so tired. I convinced him to let Mom sleep with me last night so she could help me in the middle of the night and he could get a full night of sleep. It must be so hard on him-to be concerned about our finances and all of the "stuff" (yard work,housework,laundry,cooking,dishes.......) and still work 2 jobs on top of dealing with me and my condition. Please pray for for him! God is faithful-my new "theme song" has been "Praise you in this storm" (casting crowns). Today-I broke down crying ( for the 1st time since my surgery)-I got my ipod out and played that song over and over..... . I refuse to "give up". God is still faithful-even though we are struggling now-He has a plan.

Sunday, August 10, 2008


I am feeling very frustrated today-I had a rough night last night. I kept waking up from a dead sleep with "stabbing" pains. I almost feel like I am taking steps backwards instead of moving forward. I am told that each day will be different and just because I can do something one day does not mean that I will be able to do it the next. The most frustrating thing about my recovery is not the pain but rather the limitations that I have. I can hear the phone ringing-I can SEE the phone about 3 feet away but I can not answer it unless it is in my chair with me. It takes me about 20 mins to get up and walk to the bathroom-that is with 3 people helping me! I have absolutely NO dignity left for sure! I know that it is going to get better and I just need some patients-but today, I am frustrated. I am just relying on God and counting my blessings with each (VERY slow) step-knowing I could be in a lot worse shape. My feet and my legs are still numb-can't wait until the feeling comes back! Thanks again for all the prayers, support and phone calls! I feel loved!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

I am finally home!

Well......where to start? I finally made it home from the hospital last night-it feels sooooooooooo good to be home! The hospital and staff were amazing but there is just no place like home! My surgery went well-it took 9 hours (instead of 6-like they thought). I had a hard time coming out of the anaesthesia-that took me 2 hours after the surgery. I was so relieved to wake up with my eyesight!-they had warned me that blindness was a risk-but they also listed a ton of other risks as well. But just as the wheeled me into the OR-the doctor said " you do know that there is a chance that you will wake up blind-don't you?"-I answered "yes" and I asked him why-he said that since I would be laying flat on my stomach for so many hours all the blood rushes to behind the eyes causing a lot of pressure-anyhoo-the first thing they asked me when I woke up was "can you see?". I was so thankful for my sight! They did scratch my left eye somehow but they called in a eye doc and he took care of it. I feared, I was sick throwing up for the first 2 days :( . Just as I planned, I refused all pain meds since I knew that I would just keep throwing up-instead I stuck to regular old Tylenol(some of the nurses thought I was insane for not taking meds-but the pain from throwing up was too much for me to handle). The pain was pretty intense the first few days-it felt like the worst "contraction" (as in labor!) EVER-but it just never let up! Now, while I am sitting in the recliner or adjustable bed, the pain is not so bad-not much worse that the pain I lived with before the surgery. Whenever I have to move the pain gets much worse. I am still not able to walk much-but I am able to walk a little farther each day. My feet and legs are completely numb and my legs have almost no strength-so it makes it very difficult to walk. I have a "walker" that I can not even stand up without-my roommate at the hospital was a crazy woman who was doped up on pain meds and she kept telling me that I took HER walker-I told my Mom that I never dreamed in a million years that I would be fighting with an old lady over a walker! It is funny to me-I kept showing her where her walker was but she insisted that it was not hers. Of course, she also kept asking the nurses where her "sparkle dress" that she ordered was at-and why it had not been delivered to her! She was a "hoot" for sure! So, now it is on to recovery-I have a physical therapist and a occupational therapist coming to our house 3 days a week for at least 2 months-they are supposed to work with me on regaining my strength. Within 10-14 days I will be getting the "staples" removed (all 40 of them!-I have a 9" incision-it sounds worse than it is though). I think once I regain feeling in my feet and legs-nothing will be able to stop me!! I am still feeling "drugged" for the anesthesia-I can even taste it still! I will keep updating my progress as much as possible. Thank you all for your prayers, phone calls, emails, flowers, gifts........!! I really do appreciate it! (I am tagging this one as "God's goodness" as well as "medical madness" since I know that without His grace,mercy and strength I could not have come through this)

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Our day

Today I took the kids (and my little Noah) to a "back 2 school splash-bash" at a local church. We had so much fun together! Watching Noah' s smile down every slide was priceless! I think (hope)that they are all worn out now! We were there for about 2 and a half hours and they ran non-stop! I just wanted to share the pics!

I guess they DID get worn out!
Here are some pics of the girls' room and also some pics of Maddie's and Bubba's "concert". They made microphones out of tinker toys and put on a concert for us-I thought it was really cute! they even wrote their own music!