Monday, August 18, 2008

The first day of school went well for the kids-I only wish I could have been the one to walk them to their class rooms this morning :(. I have not even met the teachers yet! Spencer has already made a friend-but he did tell me that one little boy kept asking him questions about his hearing aids. He told me that he just told him "will you just stop talking about my hearing aids!". I did not get the feeling that he was making fun of him but probably more curious. Maddie's teacher sounds "tough" but I think that Maddie will get used to her after a while. She only has 4 girls in her whole class! One other girl was also new so she made friends with her. Brooke had volleyball practice until 5:00-she just got home and she had a great day too! She has an 11th grader "stalking" her (as she said)-he knew her name and said "hi" to her but she says she doesn't know him. He acted as though she should know who he was. I laughed at her and she said "oh! I am glad you feel my pain Mom!-I wanted to call the cops!). Funny.

I think I need to clarify some things about my surgery and recovery. I had major surgery-and I feel that considering that, I am doing well. I know that I still have a long road ahead of me. It seems that some people thought I would not even be able to walk for 6 weeks-I do not know where they came up with that.From everything I have read, walking is encouraged. My surgeon has not told me much of anything except I would be "out of commission for 6 weeks"-but I have researched the surgery and talked to other people and they all say walking will be helpful to my recovery. Also, when I say "walking" I mean "shuffling" (at this point)-my legs and feet are still numb so it is really hard for me to walk. I can not stand or walk without my walker either. I guess that because I have a positive attitude people have taken it that I am "well". I do not mean to be dishonest in any way when I say how well I am doing-I am not "well"-but I am trying to get well. Another thing I think that some people may not understand is when I say "the pain is not much worse than before the surgery" it doesn't mean that I have no pain-very few people really know the pain that I lived with for so many years because I did my very best not to let it keep me from living my life to the fullest. I try not to whine and complain-I feel that it doesn't change anything and there are so many people who have it so much worse than me that it is a insult for me to pout. I am not sure why it has bothered me so much that a few people have made comments about me being up and walking-I guess because I do not want anyone to think that I am taking advantage of my husband,kids,church family,friends..... . I have needed every bit of help that I have gotten. I can not do much for myself yet. I am now able to use the bathroom alone-with the help of my "potty chair":)-I can get myself in and out of bed most of the time and I can now shower, sitting on my chair, without someone being in the shower with me. It has been hard for me to ask for help and to receive it. Like I said, I do not know why I let this get to me-I have never really cared what anyone thought before but, since I am facing these challanges and it has been so difficult for me, I let it get to me.

All of that being said.......I will continue to have a positive attitude and outlook. I plan on doing everything I can do to get better and I and I am trusting God to continue to bring me through!

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