Today I am going to my 2 week post op appt. I still have one drain in..(Brett had to remove the other one....per docs orders...when it was causing me some pain). I REALLY hope they will take it out today!! I am pretty sure they will. I can hardly wait to try on my clothes! Although...right now, even though I have lost 8 lbs since surgery, my pre op clothes (that I have tried on) are too tight!!! Normal...since there is swelling (and a binder).....but aggravating! Still...I am ready to get out of maternity and stretchy clothes!

Still here!

This pic was taken just a few hours after surgery....what a MIRACLE God has preformed in my life!!

Like I said before, I have not been diligent in updating this blog lately...mostly because I am updating my private blog on the ONLY thing going on in my life right now...recovery!! Anyhoo, I go back to the PS on Wednesday and I was hoping that I could get both drains removed....but I have to get down to 25 cc's or less of drainage each day and yesterday I was at 60 cc's....so I am not optimistic that I will be getting them out so soon. I would rather leave them in until they are ready to come out than deal with the complications of taking them out too soon. I am just sooo ready to get into REAL clothes...instead of stretchy pants or PJs! Patience....it IS a virtue!

Still doing great! Had my 4 day post op appt yesterday...the doc said everything looks perfect! Yeah God! :-)

checking in

Sorry I have been MIA! I feel like I am juggling too many websites! I have this one, a personal one (by invitation only because of the graphic pics) and FB. Anyhoo...my surgery went AWESOME!! I am SOOO excited! First of all...for the VERY FIRST time I did not get sick from the anesthesia. Thanks to an online friend who suggested a new medication (used for chemo pts) and thanks to my surgeon who actually LISTENED to me and got the med for me and thanks to GOD...for His mercy!! Anyhoo..I was expecting the worst kind of pain ever and I can honestly say I am not in ANY pain....I am just "sore". I did not even need to take a Tylenol while at the hospital! I took a PM one last night...to help me sleep. I spent one night in the hospital and I was "itching" to get out by the time I was discharged! I still get sleepy, leftover anesthesia ....I am guessing. I am walking bent over per doc orders..but even that is not as bad as I prepared myself for. My biggest challenge now is just to follow doc orders. She was worried that I would try to do too much since I am feeling so good.....but I have seen pics of incisions where people did too much and I do NOT want to go through that (I have several hundred stitches....3 layers for each stitch!)!! SO.....I am taking a mini (6 week) "vacation". Reading books, having friends visit..(and bring me food!), watching TV.....taking it easy. Thanks for all the prayers!! Please continue to pray..I am believing God for a flawless recovery!! He has brought me this far and I know that He will not leave me now! I feel so loved....I feel like God heard my cry and He answered my prayers...exceedingly-abundantly ABOVE all I could ask for or think! Truly...He has!

3 days and counting!

Y'all....I can not EVEN begin to explain how excited I am about my upcoming surgeries!! I am SOOO ready to be through with them....and recovered! I feel like I am getting a "new lease" on life, like I finally get to be comfortable within my own skin! There are so many people who do not understand...or "approve" of my decision-but I have learned that I need to do what is best for ME, for a change! I am SO grateful to God for giving me peace concerning these surgeries and for the godly counsel He has placed in my life! At first I was tormented with guilt and worry....but God worked EVERY detail out in my favor!! He has provided a way for the surgery to be paid for, He provided insurance company approval, provided help for my kids (THANKS Lynn and Phil!), a way for Brett to take the week off to help me, .......every detail is in place.

A wise, godly woman told me, when I was struggling with my decision, that sometimes God leaves things up to US, they are not always black and white, He always CARES....but some things he chooses to leave in our hands. She told me that the money that I am INVESTING in myself was really trivial in the grand scheme of things....she reminded me how much people spend on boats, cars and vacations. I am so grateful that God placed her in my life...I am truly blessed! When I looked at the situation with that in mind, I was so relived and I felt peace about spending the money. Oddly enough...the people who disapprove of me spending the money actually waste a lot of money themselves! It is nothing for some people to drop a few hundred dollars on this or that....stuff that has no real PURPOSE....stuff that will not change ANYTHING! I am spending money on something that will change my LIFE! It will not be a memorable vacation that lasts 1 week, or a new car that will be old in a few years, it will not be new clothes that will not fit me in a month or that will be moved to the back of the closet when styles change,............it is a gift that I am giving myself for the rest of my life!! Now...if there EVER was a fail proof investment, I'd say that would be it! I have just decided that I REFUSE to feel guilty about it. I have worked SO hard to lose my weight....and keep it off. I gave myself that gift...no one thought THAT was vain or unnecessary....I just do not understand why this is any different.

One thing that I DO understand is me having this surgery may make some people uncomfortable because they are not happy with themselves. Listen.....I have been overweight.....OBESE even, and I know how badly it made me feel to hear some skinny "Barbie" talk about how she "needed" to lose 5 lbs...or whatever. I have NOT forgotten the feelings of shame that comes with being obese...BELIEVE me, I haven't! I can STILL feel the pain (11 years later!). However, I feel that someone judging me for being thin and still wanting to improve myself, is NO different than someone judging a person who is overweight. I do not judge people based on their weight, I do not look down on anyone because of their weight (there is NO way that I could, having overcome obesity myself!)..I am just asking for the same respect.

Ok...I really have NO idea how I even got off on all of that....I think it may that I am procrastinating on folding that load of laundry! :-) Anyhoo, I had decided that to avoid being judged I would just keep everything to myself.....but "word got out" ....as it often does, so I am facing it head on. The way I look at it is if you can't accept my decision and just be HAPPY for me....then you probably aren't the kind of friend I want to have anyway. I am VERY grateful for my "Sistas"...who have stood behind me, encouraged me and who are "armed" with disposable foil tins...with supper for my family in them! THOSE are the people I want to share my life with.....they Know EVERY detail, and they are still willing to help me in any way that they can....setting aside their own "issues" with their bodies (and WHO doesn't have issues!) and are celebrating WITH me! WOW! It just doesn't get any better than that! And...when THEY are ready for their Tummy tucks (yes! I REALLY believe that one of my friends will be needing one one day soon! I have that much faith in her! She lost more than 4 lbs this week!) , facelifts (NO! I am NOT getting a facelift), breast lifts......or whatever...I will be there for them too!

So, even if you disagree with my choice, PLEASE pray that all will go well on Monday! I will be spending one night at the hospital. When I am home and feeling up to it I will update my blog.

Good morning!

Today is the first day all week that I do not have several appts! I enjoyed sleeping in until 8:30! I have missed my workout this week, with all the appts I have not worked out once all week! I could have gotten up at 6 am-to fit the gym in, but I decided that it was best for me to rest as much as possible this week. Anyhoo, today I am taking the kids swimming and catching up with some friends who are more like family....they have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember! I am really looking forward to seeing them and catching up!

Heart test results

Today I went in for my heart test results and they came back showing that my heart is throwing extra beats. It is nothing serious, mostly annoying. They want me to go on a beta blocker medication but I am going to wait to try the medication until I am 100% recovered from my upcoming surgery (the cat got let out of the bag on FB...so why try to hide it now?). Anyhoo, a few people have asked, so for all you who are NOT on my FB, I wanted to share the results. Hope everyone is doing well!

Just wondering out loud.....

Sometimes I wonder......if a certain person hates me soooo much......why does she continue to read my blog? Hmmm? Wonder if she's ever heard of a IP address tracker? Really..it is alright with me. I still love her....and she must love me too....somewhere deep inside or else she wouldn't be reading my blog at all.....am I right?

Crazy day!

Today has been one CRAZY day! Maddie woke up with her eye swollen shut. This is the 6th eye infection she has had over the last 2 months! I took her to the doctor at 8:30 am, took Spencer to Tanya's house (to play with Ryan) at 10 am, had to be in Tampa for my neurosurgeon appt by 12:00 pm, picked up Spencer, took Maddie to another doctor (a specialist), then filled her Rx's. Now I am home and ready to rest!
So...here is the news!! My neurosurgeon took new x rays and I am 80% fused (I had back surgery 1 year ago on Aug 5th)!! YEAH!!! I was hopeful that I would be 100% fused but the surgeon was very pleased with 80% so I am happy too! He told me that he thought I should get the screws removed since they are pushing into my muscles. He gave me the option to go ahead and do it now or wait another year until I am completely fused. Since I am not sure I want to get them removed at all, and since I am having another surgery next week, I am going to wait until next august to even consider it. The pain I have from the screws is not even close to the pain I felt before...if the pain before was a "10", the pain now may be a "2" or "3". So I can live with it!
I just wanted to share the news with everyone! I am so grateful to God for causing my bones to fuse properly!! That was one surgery that I NEVER want to have to go through again!

This evening Maddie managed to SHATTER the front of my oven! She was leaning over it, trying to get to the microwave and the door just shattered into thousands of tiny pieces! Anyhoo...sometimes ya just gotta laugh! Only my Maddie!