Crazy day!

Today has been one CRAZY day! Maddie woke up with her eye swollen shut. This is the 6th eye infection she has had over the last 2 months! I took her to the doctor at 8:30 am, took Spencer to Tanya's house (to play with Ryan) at 10 am, had to be in Tampa for my neurosurgeon appt by 12:00 pm, picked up Spencer, took Maddie to another doctor (a specialist), then filled her Rx's. Now I am home and ready to rest!
So...here is the news!! My neurosurgeon took new x rays and I am 80% fused (I had back surgery 1 year ago on Aug 5th)!! YEAH!!! I was hopeful that I would be 100% fused but the surgeon was very pleased with 80% so I am happy too! He told me that he thought I should get the screws removed since they are pushing into my muscles. He gave me the option to go ahead and do it now or wait another year until I am completely fused. Since I am not sure I want to get them removed at all, and since I am having another surgery next week, I am going to wait until next august to even consider it. The pain I have from the screws is not even close to the pain I felt before...if the pain before was a "10", the pain now may be a "2" or "3". So I can live with it!
I just wanted to share the news with everyone! I am so grateful to God for causing my bones to fuse properly!! That was one surgery that I NEVER want to have to go through again!

This evening Maddie managed to SHATTER the front of my oven! She was leaning over it, trying to get to the microwave and the door just shattered into thousands of tiny pieces! Anyhoo...sometimes ya just gotta laugh! Only my Maddie!

Doc report

Today I went to the doctor to get the results of the echo cardiogram. The news was GREAT! I was so relieved! She said that I have "mild regurgitation" (where the blood leaks back into the heart, instead of being pushed out all the way), but apparently it is not anything to worry about! I have to go back on Friday to get a "holter heart monitor" and wear it for 24 hours...just to be "safe". That just gives them a more detail report on my heart and the palpitations. Anyhoo...the doc gave me the "all clear" to go ahead with my "plans". I am SOOOO excited and relieved! Thanks for all the prayers!!

Summer.....we're off and running!

I just love lazy summer days!! No need to rush through my coffee in the morning, no need to get in bed by 10:30 pm.....just love it! Today I took a long nap......and I did not have to cut it short because of school letting out! I enjoy having the kids home with me all day too (....most days :).

I wanted to catch everyone up since we were off the computer for so long! Where to start? As a PROUD Mother I have to start with the awards that our kids got this year! Brooke made honor roll (all As and Bs)...(for the whole year!) and she was one of 2 kids, in the whole school, who got an award for being so "respectful". She got a beautiful plaque with her name engraved on it!! Maddie got Principal's list (all As)...(all year long!)! She also got an award for academic excellence in EVERY subject! She was also given the HIGHEST award ever given at their school..."The Eagle Award", which is only given to one child per class (and only one child in the entire middle school and one child in high school). Anyhoo, she got it for her grades and her Christian character!! She got a beautiful glass trophy with her name etched in it! One of the Dads at the award ceremony joked that Maddie was gonna need a whole room just for all her awards! Spencer got awards for improvement, conduct and Science. I am so proud of all three of my "babies"!!





I am STILL playing the "waiting game" for my surgery!! My insurance company now has 30 business days to give me a response! I am trying really hard to trust God with the whole thing...but I must admit I have become impatient! If my Insurance co denies me then I have to question my decision on going through with the "tummy tuck" anyway. I know I have said that for once in my life I am gonna do the "irresponsible" and "selfish" thing......but I do not know if I can bring myself to do that! I have always walked that "straight line".....my whole life. IF I can come up with the rest of the money for the hospital/anesthesia then I will go forward....I am doing really well, I have about 1/2 of the money needed for those things. I am praying in the rest! At first I struggled with guilt....even asking God for that, when there are so many other needs in this world........but, I realized that God cares about EVERY aspect of my life and HE knows my heart and how much I desire this! He cares about the major issues AND the "minor" issues in our lives...nothing too big or too small! Although.....I'd have to classify this need as a major one...in my life at least. I know that most people do not understand.....but I remind myself that GOD knows my heart. I spoke with an older, wiser woman about this issue....and once I showed her my part of stomach, she said "honey...you have got to do whatever you have to do to get that taken care of"! Even I was shocked by that answer...perhaps if you knew who she was, you would be too ;) Anyhoo...not sure how I got here from where I started in this post.....ramblin' on I guess! Well, I made crab cakes for supper.....they are just about ready and I need to get the table set!! Hope you are all having a blessed summer!!

Just bein' real.....

Sometimes I ask myself "WHY am I SO real on this blog?". Most of the people who read this blog are complete strangers and yet I offer up my deepest thoughts! Anyhoo, it is what it is and I suppose it will always be that way. I can NOT believe that I am about to share this on my blog! What in "tarnation" is wrong with me!? Well, yesterday I got a second opinion, from a plastic surgeon, about getting a breast reduction. The few people, I told that I was considering it, all told me that I did not "need" one...as their eyes diverted to my DD chest! (All but Tanya...she was very supportive...NO pun intended!). I asked my doctor about it last month, and she seemed to think it could relieve some of my headaches, neck pain and upper back pain-so she referred me out to a plastic surgeon. The first one that I saw seemed "nice enough" but he was primarily a "hand surgeon". When I asked him how many breast reductions he had done he said between 12-24! I could not help but wonder if that meant 12, and since he did the surgery on both breast he doubled it to 24! I did not feel comfortable with that number, so I kept searching. Yesterday I ended up at the same USF office that my neurosurgeon is at. I have a MUCH better feeling about the surgeons that I met there! So, now it is a waiting game.....the insurance will have to approve it, if they do then it will be 100% covered! Now...here is the problem that I have...I have been wanting a "tummy tuck" for years! Ever since I lost 92 lbs I have been left with lots of saggy skin in my belly and it REALLY bothers me. I am ashamed of it and I feel like I have this "dark secret" that I am hiding! Most people can not imagine what I am talking about.....they see me and think that it must be about being "skinny". It is NOT a skinny issue. I honestly feel like I have a deformity that I have been hiding for years! The few people who HAVE seen my "secret" all agree and can understand my desperation! Anyhoo, I thought that while I was at the plastic surgery office, I'd get an estimate on getting a "tummy tuck" too. I get REALLY ill from anesthesia, so if I could get them both done at the same time then it would save me from having to go back "under" again. A few years ago I got estimates (from 2 docs) and to get both a breast lift and tummy tuck it was going to be $17,000! Well, now, since my insurance will be paying for the breast reduction and the breast lift, it would "only" cost me about $6,000 to get the tummy tuck. Well, I do not HAVE $6,000......YET! I am racking my brain trying to come up with a way that I can make that kind of money! Tanya says "where there is a WILL...there is a WAY!". The WILL is there...I just have to find a WAY. I know that I run the risk of sounding "vain"...which is one reason that I hesitated on being so REAL on this issue, I even considered taking a picture of my belly and posting it-just so you'd know that it is not a vanity issue. ( but, knowing some of the people who read this blog would be seeing my bare belly was just unbareable for me!) It truly effects how I view myself, it is like a "foreign" body part that I live with and can feel 24 hours a day! Anyhoo-Brett has told me that I should post a video of one of my coupon classes and charge people to view it (he's been telling me that for months!). Does anyone "out there" know how that can be done? OR...does anyone have any creative ideas that can help me come up with this money? PLEASE let me know if you have any ideas that will help me. Please try to understand my "heart" on the matter. And, if you have gotten any help through this blog, and you have learned how to save your family money and you have the "extra" to give.....there is a pay pal "donate" button...feel free to use it :) . I figured that even if every person gave just $2.00-within one month I could have most of it paid for! Honestly, I really do not expect my readers to donate..I KNOW that times are tough...I know what it is like to have even have $2.00 to give, I also know the "anger" that people may have towards me for me even wanting a "TT", but unless you know me and have seen my body-please do not judge me too harshly..I just thought that I would "put it out there".

Today....

This morning I had a Doctor's appt in Tampa-some of you know what it was for, others may not. It is more of a "personal" situation and until I make a final decision on the matter I am gonna keep it that way. Anyhoo-for all of you who pray....please pray that God would lead me in the situation and that HIS will be done. If I decide (and my insurance company decides), I may be having surgery...not major-just one night at the hospital...while I am there, I 'd REALLY like to take care of another issue-that will NOT be covered by my insurance...so I'd be needing about $7,000 to get that done. So y'all please pray for God's will and His provision in the matter.

On my way home from Tampa, I stopped at Walmart....did I ever mention that I HATE Walmart??? Well, I DO! The kids needed some school supplies so I just stopped in to pick up a few things. While I was there I checked out the "trial size" section and I found "Johnson & Johnson" body lotion (not the kind for kids, but the kind for women). The trial size was .97 cents and I had $1.00 MQs good on ANY J&J body lotion. I got 15 of those and just paid the tax on them. The cashier manually entered the coupon so there would be no overage. Well, it is about time for me to pick up the youngins...hope you are all having an awesome Thursday!! Oh! I was so thrilled to hear from Tina today, she took my class a few weeks ago and she just called to let me know how much money she is saving!! I LOVE IT! Thanks for letting me know Tina...sometimes I wonder if I am helping anyone or if I am wasting my time.

I know I have had about "50" (JK) posts in the last day or so.....I just did a separate post for each topic-to keep it all straight. Anyhoo, this one is just about my day today. Brooke is off on a youth group trip and Brett is working , so it is just Maddie, Bubba and me. I am not gonna make it to my WW meeting this morning, but I weighed in at home and I did not lose anything since last Saturday. I know that it is because I chose to use my weekly flex pts (ALL of them!) and because I used them late in the week. My body holds enough water to drown someone when I eat anything sweet or starchy-so I think I did well considering!
Anyhoo, I have to run up to the church to drop off the food for the food pantry...I have about $15.00 left out of the $100 the church gave to me to spend (about 1 month ago). I have just been spending a little each week on whatever deals I can find....thankfully, it has gone a loooong way! There is a certain "weight" that comes from spending "God's money". I struggled with every purchase, trying to get the VERY best deal possible! After I drop off the food, I am going to go to the gym....didn't get there enough this week! I got a card in the mail yesterday that GIVES me a shapes membership starting Monday! My health insurance company changed the policy and because I requested "Shapes" to be my gym several months ago (before they told me MY policy did not cover gym memberships) they automatically gave me a "Shapes" membership. I can call and have it changed to whatever gym I choose, but I think I will keep it at "Shapes" for now...I love their hot tub, steam room and sauna! As you already know, we got a YMCA family scholarship a few months ago.....so I will work out there still-since it is closer. I do not plan on keeping my health insurance for much longer...I am "itching" to go back to work! I am going back to the doctor on Monday, I am going to discuss an out patient surgery with her-if she recommends it then I will go ahead with it (sorry Mom ......I really think it needs to be done) and once I recover from that, I want her to release me to go back to work (which unfortunately means I will lose my Medicare ......as well as my "Shapes" membership). I am a bit worried about losing my insurance.....I just think about all the screws and rods...... that are in my back and it scares me to be without the means to get "checked out" if need be. I will leave it in God's hands when the day comes. So.....now that I have rambled on-I am gonna kids the youngins ready to go. Hope you all have a SUPER Saturday!

My day!

This morning I woke up at 6:25 am , got on my workout clothes, got my ipod ready, laced up my sneakers, grabbed my weights and headed out the door.......only to realize that it was raining! OMG! I was so aggravated....that I walked anyway. That's right, in the rain! I am a stubborn person (hard to believe...I know!) and I was motivated enough to wake up early and I was NOT going to let it be for nothing! So, after I went for my walk....(and got soaked to the bone! Brett did not know it was raining and when I got home his mouth dropped open-he thought it was sweat! LOL.....I would have been DEAD if I sweated THAT much!), I came home and showered and took Bubba to see his audiologist. He is finally getting new hearing aids and new ear molds! He has been using an All Children's loaner (after losing his left hearing aid on the playground at school)for a couple of months.....and it does not work very well! Anyhoo, yesterday we had the "conversation" with him......about if he was ready to move to clear ear molds-I explained that they would not be as visible as the colored ones. He immediately said he wanted to get the clear ones because he is "tired of people asking him about his hearing aids". I then explained that people could still see them, but not just as easily. I told him to think about it and let us know what he decided. He decided that he wanted blue and yellow swirled together. I did not want to push the issue either way.......eventually I think he will choose clear ones, but for now......I guess colored ones are still cool!

After his appt I went to Michelle's house to have coffee with her and Melissa. I had a really good time chatting with them and enjoying some great coffee (and delicious cookies!). I am blessed with a few different "groups" of friends......and I am grateful for all of them! I enjoy getting to know people better.....and there is no better way to get to know someone than over a cup of coffee! Thanks Michelle....for the coffee,company and beautiful ornament! Tomorrow, I have a coffee date at Liz's house (It's a BOY! BTW!!).

After I got home from Michelle's, Googled (thanks for the tip Michelle!) tips on getting ads put on my blog...and getting paid for each "click". Anyhoo, I am still looking into it-but I hope to get something set up soon!

Tonight, after supper, I had to go for my mammogram (oh, the joys of womanhood!)......that is right-crazy as it sounds, my appt was at 7:00 pm! Glad it is over with!

Now......I mean RIGHT now, I am getting my body rub so I am going to quit typing so I can enjoy it!!

On my way to feeling better!

As my "facebook" friends already know, I was up all night with an ear infection :( . I started running a fever last night and about 12:00 am, I woke up in pain. I went to the doctor first thing this morning...(I bet they think that is just where I LOVE to spend my time!). When I was there yesterday-my ear did not hurt, I was not running a fever and I just had a slight cold......what a difference a few hours make! Anyhoo-I saw a different doctor because I went in as a "walk in"-since I did not want to wait until the afternoon to be seen. In the doctor's office there was a sign that had a Hebrews 11 on it and then underneath it said "I believe in the power of prayer..if you would like me to pray for you-please do not hesitate to ask"..or something along those lines. I thought that was pretty cool! I told him that I liked his sign and he said "well, I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior..and I strongly believe in prayer!". How many times do you hear THAT coming from a doctor!? Anyhoo...I have an ear infection and a sinus infection. He put me on some antibiotics and methylprednisolone ( a steroid..just what I need when I am trying to LOSE weight..huh?)! I took the meds right away...hoping that they will kick in soon and I will get to feeling better! Hope ya'll have a blessed Tuesday! Thanks for all of the emails and prayers!!

Happy Monday!

Well.....I did it! I got up early this morning and I went for my walk....I also picked up the pace a bit from my usual walks! Then, after I took the kids to school, I came home and did strength training! Yeah me! (The kids tell me I watch too much "Suite life of Zack and Cody" when I say "yeah me"! LOL) Anyhoo-I feel good know that I am taking the proper steps to get healthier! I had a (ANOTHER!) doctor's appt this morning...I asked her how many calories I should be eating to lose weight...she told me about 1,500-1,600 based on my height and weight and since I am active. Today's appt was just the dreaded yearly check up....NOT fun-as all the women out there say "Amen!". Anyhoo-I have to go for another mammogram....(again, NOT fun)...because she found some "lumps". I am not in the least bit concerned about it...every year I get sent for a mamo, I guess I am just "lumpy" LOL! Anyhoo....I asked them if they were sick of seeing me yet-it seems I have a part time job going to doctors! I know I am tired of it! I have to go back in two weeks to get the results of all the tests...I hope that is it for a while! I am SO grateful that I have insurance and I can even GO to the doctor!...but enough already! Last year, the Susan Koman foundation paid for my mamo and ultra sound (always end up getting those too)-I was surprised at how easy that process was...unlike any other "help" we have ever gotten! There were no forms to fill out, no income verification......... the doctor said I needed it, I had no insurance and that was all they needed to know! "Shout out" to the Susan Koman foundation!

So, now that I am home, I am going to cut coupons....it IS Monday! Happy Monday everyone!

I think all I needed was a little time to rest, because I am feeling so much better this morning! Thank God! I cancelled all my appts already- so this morning, after I took the kids to school, I came home and a gave my house a "good scrubbin' "! It seriously needed it! We have been so busy that we have not had the time or energy to keep up with all the little things that pile up quickly! So, I am almost finished with that...gotta run the vac and make my bed and put away my laundry! After I have lunch with Brett(he comes home every day -but I have not actually been able to eat with him at all this week!), I am going to run to the store to pick up a couple of things...and exchange a few (I changed the plan on a couple of gifts)! Tonight, I need to cut Brett's and Spencer's hair -but then we can just relax and watch a family movie...knowing everything else is DONE! That is such a great feeling.....is it just me or isn't it so much easier to relax in a CLEAN, organized house?!

Anyhoo...I made my appt with the new neurosurgeon today...one that is in Trinity-NOT Tampa!
They are going to decide what to do with my neck....I did not tell many people (VERY FEW!)-but the MRI I had last month showed a tumor in my neck...that was not there in May (when I had my last MRI)-so they sent me for another MRI, with contrast. Thankfully, it showed that the "tumor" is just a "perineural cyst"-which is typically harmless and rarely show any changes. It is pressing on the left nerve root so they want to have the neurosurgeon check it out...my left side is what typically goes numb, so it may be related to that. Anyhoo...chance are, they will just leave it a lone and keep an eye on it like they do with the other lesions!


Well, I am gonna finish up on my housework and relax a bit before Brett gets home!

Well......I made it through the day!! I am beyond exhausted....but I made it! I did all my grocery shopping, went to the doctor, took Bubba to therapy, baked cookies for the school, and took Maddie out for a special "date"-just the two of us. We went to Cracker Barel and to Starbucks and then we ran a couple of errands. I appreciate the prayers! At one point today, I was ready to "break" and I thought about all of your prayers and I got myself together and kept going! I do not do very well when I am overwhelmed and tired. I did not even have time to eat today.....until I sat down and had supper with Maddie! I came home and started to make lunch at one point...but I ran out of time and had to leave without eating. I get very emotional when I am tired...and I hate not having time to just "stop" for a few minutes! At any rate, I did think about the people praying for me and God gave me the strength to carry on. I appreciate your prayers!


Tomorrow is going to be another busy day....hopefully, not quite as busy as today though!
I am going in for yet another MRI tomorrow.....please pray for me. You all know how much I hate those things-and I am REALLY tired of having them! None the less, God is still in control and I know that ALL things work together for my good! I will be thinking of your prayers again tomorrow....please remember to pray!! My MRI is at 5:30 pm-if you happen to think of me during that time! :)

BTW...I have not had time to calculate my savings from today....but I know at Walgreens I saved $121.00 (and spent only $20.00!) and at Publix I saved $114.00!! I went to CVS too-I will try to post about this week's deals tomorrow. Have any of you been using my shopping tips? Email me (I know that many of you are having problems with leaving "comments") and let me know! I will "keep 'em comin' " if I know that I am helping someone! I got some great deals at Walgreens today....using store and manufacture coupons together!! They even paid me for some of it! LOL!

MRI

I am home from my MRI appt. I am so glad it is finished! Ya'll know how much I hate those things! I prayed through the whole thing! I prayed for my Sister and Brother and I prayed for Liz's Sister and Brother in law. It helped me to keep my mind off of being in the "coffin" (as I call it!) Liz came over for coffee this morning-I really enjoyed having her over and getting to know her better! She was a "life saver" during my recovery...she took me and Bubba to his doctor's appt and she came over several times and just sat with me all day! I know that it helped me to stay sane during my bed ridden days! THANKS LIZ! I really have enjoyed spending time with her.

Yesterday Bubba and I made some "Chex Muddie Buddies" together. We were at the grocery store and Spencer saw a box of "Corn Chex" cereal....he said "Corn flavored cereal....that sounds like it taste good!". So, I bought a box and we made the muddie buddies together as a treat. He loves to help out in the kitchen and it was something fun for us to do together-since it was just the 2 of us at home. When the girls got home they wanted to know what was IN them...but I told them it was a secret recipe and only me and Bubba could know. Of course Maddie just HAD to know (sound like anyone else we know? LOL!) and she got it out of him! Anyhoo-these things are sooooooo good! If you have not tried them-makes some today-they are seriously delicious! Here is the recipe...since Bubba already revealed our "secret recipe"!

9 cups of Chex cereal (corn, rice or wheat...or combo of all)
1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1 1/2 cups of powdered sugar

Put measured cereal into a large bowl.
In another bowl microwave chocolate chips, PB, and butter-uncovered for 1 min.
Stir and microwave for about 30 more seconds-until mixture is smooth.
Pour mixture over the cereal, stirring until evenly coated.
Pour into a 2 gallon Ziploc food storage bag
Add powdered sugar, seal bag, and shake until well coated (I added some extra sugar after shaking it the first time)
Spread onto waxed paper (or cookie sheet) to cool.
Store (yeah right!-There will not be any left TO store!) in and airtight container in the refrigerator.

It is a simple, easy recipe that the kids can help with and it makes a great lunch box treat!

Injections

As you can imagine...I fell asleep early and I did not get to finish watching the CMA awards! I am going to start where I left off as soon as I finish this post!

This morning I had my facet injections. It has been a crazy, stressful morning! For starters...I was supposed to be at the outpatient center at 8:00 am for my 8:30 am appt. Well-I knew that would not be possible so I told them I could be there by 8:15 am-once I got the kids off to school. Well....something REALLY crazy is going on with US 19-they have it completely blocked off for several blocks! I had to turn around and go a back way to get to my doctor. That put me there at 8:45 am! Good thing the doctor ALSO got caught up in it and he and I made it to the outpatient center at about the same time! On the way back ..I noticed about 7 cop cars...and ONE large tool delivery truck, but NO accident! When I passed the scene there was a police officer ON THE GROUND-under the tool truck (as though he was fixing it!)-anyhoo, hope it makes the news, not knowing what happened drives me nuts!

My injections were not that painful-the did 6 shots total in my neck-all guided by CT scans. The doctor told me, before he started, that this was not "a pleasant experience"-I told him that I knew that it could not be any worse then what I went through with the surgery! When he was finished, he said that I was the easiest patient he has ever preformed that procedure on-I told him that I have a high tolerance to pain and he said "well, you must! You have not even flinched!" He said that he was having a hard time getting the needle through the muscles because they were knotted up (they are always knotted up from the spine issues)-he had to use some force to break through. It really was not bad-not as bad as I figured it would be! They did not do the injections on my mid back-they did a CT scan of it only. They said they do not preform them on the thoracic spine-only cervical. I was kinda bummed about that since by the end of the day the pain, in that area, is so intense that it hurts me to BREATHE (literally!) ! They said that the injections in my neck may help that since some of the medications may travel to that part of my spine. They expected me to feel results immediately. I am a bit disappointed because right now-the pain is worse than it was when I went in. The muscles in my neck are so tight and stiff that it is hard for me to move it! She said that she had to tell the insurance company if I got immediate relief or not and I had to be honest and answer "no"-I hope that it does not prevent me from being able to get them in the future (in case the pain DOES get better through out the day). Anyhoo-I wanted to let ya'll know what was going on-please pray for me! I really had hoped this would be the answer to end my "medical madness"! I have orders to "take it easy" for the next 72 hours (I'll have to do the math and figure out how many days that is...LOL!)-so today I am going to do NOTHING! :)

UPDATE: I could not stand NOT knowing what was going on on US 19-so I called the local news. They told me that the tool truck had hit and killed a child pedestrian. :( Please pray for the family and all those involved. I knew that it was not an auto accident-since there was only the tool truck there-but I did not think about it being a pedestrian. My heart is always heavy when I pass an accident or see the medical chopper flying. I always start praying! It always reminds me that we are not promised tomorrow. Love your loved ones..with ALL that you have! Always!

My appt today

Today has been busy-I went for my walk this morning. I walked up to Walgreen's to fill a RX that my surgeon prescribed for me yesterday. Then I came home, got all my films/reports ready, showered and headed to my doctor's appt. After that, I ran home and ate some lunch, ran by the store and then to the school. I had to set up for a party for Maddie's class (I am the class "Mom")-we just got home from that...now I am going to rest for a bit-until I need to figure out what we have left in this house to eat for supper! (I have to go shopping tomorrow!).

My appt with my new primary doctor (Dr Strobbe) went really well! I am SO thrilled with her! She took the time to listen to me and answer my questions! She even had Christian music playing in her office! Anyhoo..she order (yet another!) MRI on my neck (for Monday)and she ordered epidural injections for my neck and upper/mid spine(on Wednesday). I am so amazed that I got all of those appts set today! If you have ever had to see a specialist or have an mri-then you know that sometimes it takes a while to get the appt set and even longer to actually get IN! She also wants to have an ultra sound on my kidneys and see what comes of that..she said she may send me to the urologist/nephrologist-depending on the outcome of the ultra sound. I go back to her in December-so I will take care of all of that then-gotta enough to do now! I am just so happy to finally have a doctor that I feel comfortable with and one who did not "rush" me through the appt.

I forgot to tell you!

I forgot to mention that I asked the doctor if I was feeling the screws or if I was just "crazy". He said I am absolutely feeling the hardware! He said that when patients are really thin (then he said "and I put you in that category"-THAT made my day;), they can feel the screws from the outside AND inside of their body. I notice it most when I am laying flat or when I am sitting back in a chair. Anyhoo-I feel better knowing that my mind is not just playing tricks on me! He did say that he may remove the hardware once I am 1 year post op-but, as you can guess, I am going to try to avoid that...I can live with a little irritation!

UPDATE!

My 12:30 appt with the neurosurgeon ended up being a 3:00 appt-since he was called into emergency surgery. After being in Tampa all day...I am worn out! The doctor was busy and rushed and not in a very good mood! :( He told me that there was bone growth...he did not tell me if there was MORE than last time or not. I do not know if he even saw my first set of x rays, since I saw his PA last time and not him. He told me that by 5 months post op I should be "indestructible"! So...that is good news-just 2 more months to go! He said that I can start "weaning" myself off of my brace..over the next 2 weeks I should be out of it for good! Of course, he told me to save it-since he thinks I will need surgery on the discs right above my surgery site. I am praying that I don't! Never the less...I will save it-esp. since it cost $1,500! He referred me out to another doctor for treatment for my neck and mid-back. We'll just have to wait and see what comes of that. I have another appt in the morning...for my new primary doctor-I will see what she says too. Anyhoo-I am tired, tired,tired...and yet I have to get ready for a PTO meeting now. I just wanted to update everyone on my appt.

ALRIGHT!! Our door bell just rang...and when we answered there was a LARGE bag full of bread and rolls and a WHOLE cake on our door step! Better fess up!

Thanks.......the kids dug right in!

Does that make me a bad mom?? Maddie says "well, what if there was such a thing as a bread stalker? Look it up!"

Ya'll pray!

Today I am going to see my surgeon for my 12 week check up! I do not know why...but going there makes me physically ill! I am praying for more bone growth and praying that there are no "screws loose" (Brett loves to aggravate me by saying "Honey, they are NOT going to x ray your HEAD!"-sweet huh? See...now you know why I "dish it out" so much on HIM!). Anyhoo...I am terrified of the THOUGHT of having any more surgery..so I guess that is the reason why these appts make me so crazy! I am going to ask him today about what OTHER options I have for the rest of my spine..I know there are lots of things "out there" that may help me. My low back was beyond the point where any other treatment would have worked...I was told that about my neck too...but, since I am able to deal with that pain better, than I was able to deal with the low back pain, I am going to exhaust all my other options first! I do NOT regret having my back surgery though...not at ALL!! I already feel so much better than I did before my surgery! Most of the time there is just an "ache".... at night, once I take off my brace and lay down I have more pain but STILL...NOTHING like I had before! What I had to go through, the first few weeks after my surgery, is enough to make me hold off on ANY other surgeries though. EVEN if I was GUARANTEED a 100% recovery.....I think I'd still wait as long as I possibly could! Yes...it was THAT bad! Someone said to me the other day..."you do not complain much"...I replied "There is just no sense in it! It does not change anything!". Now, I happen to know that the person who said that...has never read my blog (he does not know anything about computers)-if he HAD read my blog.....he may think differently! I do use this blog as a chance to vent my frustrations and complaints...but I try (TRY!) to limit it to this "place". So.....those of you who do not really know me may think that all I DO is complain! LOL!
Anyhoo...if you think about it, say a prayer for me today!

My "bestest" friend!

Karen called me this morning and told me that they were about to take her into surgery! With Nikki having HER surgery just yesterday I was beginning to wonder what was going on with our little "gal pal group"!! Tanya said that she thought we were all "making up things" just so people would bring us supper!! She is funny!! She said that she was gonna go get a face lift just so we would bring HER supper!! Anyhoo.....back to Karen. She had a bad tooth and when they did x rays they saw that her root was growing up into her sinus cavity!! Sounds like it hurts!! OUCH! She had her surgery and is now home resting. I went to her house this afternoon to bring her some soup and she was still "high as a kite" from her surgery meds!! I just HAD to laugh at her!! I let myself into her house-since she was resting, I asked her how she was doing and how the surgery went yada... yada.... yada..... . I talked to her for about 5 minutes and then I told her that I was going out to my car to get the soup and some other things I bought for her that I knew she could eat. When I got back into her house with the bags I told her " I am putting the ice cream in the freezer" and she said "Oh my goodness!! I did not even realize that you were HERE!". She was so "out of it"!! I spoke with her tonight and she sounds better-but she did not remember much about my visit with her!!

I spoke with Nikki's husband today and he said that she is doing well. I told him that Karen had to have surgery too and he said "it seems like you girls would find a better way to get free food!".
I am glad that Nik is doing so well and I am glad that she and Karen are both able to take the pain meds....I feel guilty about being jealous of that :( . I would not fear/avoid the other surgeries (the other two that I need and the one that I WANT) if I could stomach the pain meds. I just NEVER want to have to go through the pain that I had to go through with the spine surgery...ever again!! Maybe the memory of the pain of surgery will pass like the memory of the pain of childbirth! I guess we'll see!

Today we got up early and went to the YMCA yard sale and to a few local yard sales as well. Brett did not have to be in to work until 12:00 so he was able to go with us! It was nice getting to spend some of my Saturday with him! He is at work now...and he'll be gone until the wee hours of the morning (around 5:30 am) :( . He is taking a bunch of USF students to "channel side"-they rented the big "bus" from 11:00pm-4:00am. Anyhoo-I miss him when he is not home! The kids really miss him!!! It seems "Mom" is just not as much fun as "Dad" these days :( . Brett always gets out in the front yard with them and plays. I DID go out for a little while last night........I just can not "play" like I used to could. Soon though........soon!

I have been dealing with some depression lately-I am not sure what that is all about- to be honest. I read online that it can be a side effect from the anesthesia and it can stay in my system for up to 6 months!! I guess the longer that a person is "under" the longer it takes for your body to recover. Goodness knows I was under long enough (9 hours for the surgery and it took me a long time after that to wake up)!! So, I am not sure if it is related to that, or if it is related to not being able to "DO" all that I want to/need to do. I am just praying it passes soon! Depression has derailed my WW program this week....really, there are NO excuses. I just tend to make poor choices when I do not feel well-but the key word is "choices". It really is all about choices-we all have choices to make-regardless of our circumstances, now don't we? I suppose I could say that about the depression too-although, I really do feel like it may be a physical problem rather than an emotional one. I feel less pain than before my surgery (most days-not all) so I do feel hopeful for my future for the first time in years!! Anyway-it may be the "sugar" kicking in now that is causing me to ramble on.....
Just keep praying for me-I am sure that I will come out the other side of this soon! And, even though I went way over my "points" this week-I did still track them and I have "jumped back on the wagon" again-I refuse to give up!!

:(

Today I am spending the day in bed :( . I was in so much pain by the time my head hit the pillow last night that I was scared! My entire spine is in pain! As most know, I have cervical and thoracic spine issues as well as the lumbar-which is where they did the surgery. I relied on Advil to help with the pain and headaches from the other areas in my spine (it never helped with my low back)-but now I am not able to take it until I fuse completely. Last night, on top of the pain in my neck and upper/mid back, I had some serious pain in my low back. It felt like at any minute the screws were gonna give way and break! I can usually feel the "hardware" in my spine when I am not wearing my brace (in bed) but I could actually feel it while wearing my brace last night! Anyway-I have made the choice to stay in bed today and rest as much as possible. I am kinda bummed, I wanted to go for a walk this morning-hopefully I will feel better and be able to go for one tonight. Please continue to pray for me.....I really hate knowing that their are "foreign" objects in my body and being worried about them holding up until I fuse. Thanks!