Tuesday, March 11, 2008

God's plan for my health

Many of you know that I have been waiting YEARS to get the medical help that I have needed. Well, today, I am excited to report that I am officially covered and I was able to select a plan that pays 100% of everything! No copays-NONE! I am just thankful to God that he has brought me to this place and I am finally going to be getting the answers and the help that I have been waiting for! You know, I am learning to look at life and the circumstances we are in very differently (I say "WE" because when one person in a family is ill it effects the WHOLE family and because my family's trials are not limited to my health issues). I am learning to see our trials -not just as learning experiences, but also as preparation for the days when I will be able to share my stories with other people, who are going through the same things-and I will be able to encourage them and share how God has brought us through it all (in faith). Unless you have been in my shoes, you will never really understand how worthless the world can make you feel-when I was told that I had a tumor but, because I did not have insurance (or the $) I could not even get a biopsy done, I felt like my life meant nothing. Even though I know that to the ones who love me my life is priceless-it did not stop me from feeling so "little". The doctor told me -in front of my children that he would not biopsy the tumor unless I paid for it all upfront-it did not matter that I was a wife, a mother, a human being- my life was worth nothing to them without money. I mention this because-I have experienced it and I know that there are MANY others who are going through the same things and NO ONE will be able to reach them but someone who has been there. My friends and my family tried to encourage me and tell me how much I meant to them but I was the ONLY one with a tumor in my body, and I was the one that did not matter to the world. God has been faithful to me in so many ways-and when I get better (and maybe even WHILE I am getting better) I will be able to bring hope and compassion to others in need. A life without hope is HARD to live-I want to be the one who shares hope in a REAL way. I am so grateful that God opened the doors for me to get the insurance I need and, while I would have rather just been HEALED, I know that HE has a plan for my life and I am learning to trust Him.

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