Today has been a hectic day...too much to do....not enough time to do it in.....and too worn out! Anyhoo...tomorrow I am shooting a wedding on a yacht......that should be interesting! I have not done a wedding since my back surgery. Weddings are a LOT of work, but I enjoy being a part of such a special day and giving a couple a way to remember their day forever! Thankfully this wedding will only be about 7 hours of shooting, and I can edit from my Dormia next week! I wish I had an assistant to come along and help carry all the equipment!


I can hardly believe that on August 5th I will be ONE YEAR post op!!! Time flys when you are havin' fun....huh? I go for my post op appt on August 3rd. I am feeling a bit nervous about that. I am PRAYING that I am 100% fused so there is NO reason to re-do the surgery!! Last year the surgeon told me that he may remove the screws when I was one year post op.....but unless he feels that it HAS to be done then I am gonna just leave them all alone!! God knows that I do not want to go through that again!!


There has been a WHOOOOOLE lot going on in my life these past few months. My life has been crazy! I am excited about some of the changes, mourning the loss of some things, but confident that I am doing what is best for me and my family at this time. I have learned so much about myself and who I am deep inside. You know what I realize is that I take the blame (or put blame on myself) when I SHOULD be standing up for myself. I always thought I was the type of person who would not let anyone "push me around"....but in reality I have allowed myself to be pushed around most of my life....without even knowing it! I know that there is a time to be respectful, quiet, and gentle....but I have allowed "stuff" to be turned around on me and taken the blame for things that I had every reason to be mad, upset, hurt over. I am REALLY working hard on getting over the "guilt complex" that have carried around my whole life. It is both liberating and devastating. Not everyone wants to hear what I have to say, and NO one wants to take the blame for ANYthing! So, if I give up the guilt.....that means someone else has to face their own "issues" and take responsibility. That is a hard pill to swallow. Does that make sense? Brett has been a huge help with trying to support me through this "journey", he has encouraged me to "let go" of the guilt and he has validated my feelings about many things. I am also grateful for my Pastor's wife, Sister Susan. She has embraced me, she has listened to me and she has been an awesome "sounding board". She has also made me feel validated in MANY things! One day I hope to get to the point where I just trust myself and let go of the guilt and validate myself!
Anyhoo....I really need to take a shower already! I worked out this morning and it is now 3:30 pm and I have still not had time to shower...yuck! I still have lots to get ready for the wedding tomorrow. If you think of it, say a prayer for me!! I will need God's strength and creativity to get through the day!

Bringin' out my soap box...

Alright....I realize that this post is gonna "ruffle some feathers", but truthfully....I really do not care. I have got to speak my mind and bring attention to the state that our "churches" are in! So, here goes..........
At what point did we (the church) forget that we are supposed to be IN the world....but not OF the world? A while ago I got "stirred up" buy a sermon I heard via podcast...and I do not mean "stirred up" in a good way either! I have just not taken the time to speak out against until now. I have also gotten "stirred up" about a local youth group event taking place this weekend...so I am just gonna let loose on both at the same time! First....the "sermon". You may find this hard to believe...unless you go to this particular church or are associated with it in some way, but I heard a "pastor" preach a sermon devoted ONLY to the subject of alcohol...titled "Should Christians be able to drink"....or something along those lines. This "pastor's" point was that "YES", Christians should be allowed to drink alcohol...as long as they do not become drunk. He used the scripture "do not be drunk with wine......" saying that as long as you can "control" your drinking then by all means "drink". Now, I have some friends who drink, and I am not stating that drinking is gonna send you to hell (that is for God to decide)....but, what is the purpose of it? And, WHY on earth would a "pastor" promote drinking?(I have to put the word "pastor" in quotation marks simply because the title describes a true shepherd, who cares about his "sheep" not one who cares about being popular with the "wolves".) Why would he take up an entire sermon to endorse drinking alcohol? Why did he leave out the devastating effects that alcohol has on families, how it KILLS and destroys? Nope...he managed to leave all of that out of his sermon, he only reminds people that they should not buy it for minors (since that is illegal) and that they should not get drunk. SERIOUSLY? Are you for real?? What is the purpose of even just ONE drink? To relax, to have a good time, to "fit in"?? What ever happened to being "set apart", DIFFERENT from the rest of the world? It alters your state of mind....period. If you are not looking for that altered effect, then why not drink Pepsi? EVERY single alcoholic on the face of this earth became an alcoholic beginning with just ONE drink. Where was THAT in his sermon? What kind of example would I be to my kids if I used alcohol, in ANY amount? What is that telling them? I will share with you something that happened a few months ago, I was at dinner with a large group of women when one of them ordered a martini-the drinks were 2 for 1 so she offered the second to whoever wanted it. A few people at our table tasted it, but no one drank it so the woman, who ordered it, finished the first and the second. I asked Brett, later that night, how much it would take for this woman to be too impaired to drive. I explained that a few people sipped from the second drink but there was still a good amount in it when the woman finished it. Brooke, our 12 year old daughter, heard me talking to Brett and she said "Mommy, did YOU take a sip?". The THOUGHT of me taking one single sip was just eating at her! Thankfully, I was able to tell her honestly that I had not taken a sip....nor did I have the desire to! I know that I have a VERY addictive personality and all it would take, would be ONE sip for me to lose control. But regardless, even if you CAN take one sip, or one drink...why? What kind of testimony are you being if you use alcohol in any amount? People who have seen alcoholism destroy lives view it so much more differently than those who have not. They do not see the "one drink", they see the bruises their husband's have left behind, they see the tears running down their children's faces, they see infidelity, heartache, death........ . It all started with one drink. I heard all that I needed to hear from that "pastor" and I immediately went home and deleted the remaining "sermons" and unsubscribed to his podcasts! He is not the only "pastor" I have heard who tries so hard to be "cool" and fit in with the world. Once Brett and I were visiting a church and the "pastor" said from the pulpit.." I am tired of hearing all the Bi*#ching and complaining.....". Unbelievable! The congregation just laughed...it was funny to them! Again, what is the purpose?

Now, onto the "godly" event that a local church is hosting this weekend. You may or may not be familiar with the books and the movie titled "Twilight". Basically, it is about a vampire that falls in love with a woman.....that is really all I needed to know to realize that it was NOT something that my children would be reading or watching. Well, there is a church that is hosting a "Twilight" party where they are going to view the movie as a youth group at the church. What is wrong with that picture. The leaders of this youth group are saying that they are gonna "draw" teens to Christ by offering "fun" events as a way to be introduced to the church. Brett and I have been youth pastors, so we KNOW that it takes some "bait" to get youth into the church, but what does it say about a church who is willing to use the same bait that Satan uses? The problem lies here......a LOT of people (not just at this particular church-but at churches around the country) do not see any harm in vampire movies, or Harry Potter........ They are blinded and do not see that there IS a spiritual world that exists and by allowing that garbage to come into their homes it opens the doors for all kinds of satanic activity. Like it or not...it is the truth. I have friends that think I am NUTS when I talk like this...but it is the truth. Just because it makes you uncomfortable does not mean it is not factual. Anyhoo, I could not believe that this church was going to try so hard to "fit in" with today's youth that they are forgetting the reasons why the church exists to begin with! The world wants something DIFFERENT...not more of the same.....isn't that why people come to Christ to begin with? I know...I KNOW, that I have slammed some people here today-but after all, it IS my blog-intended for MY voice...I am gonna let it be heard! I just get so frustrated with the lows that our churches have stooped to...and for what? Does it bring about change? No-it only allows a person to sit comfortably in a church service as they continue to live the way that they always have....believing (or hoping) that they are right with God...all because the "pastor" wants to be a "seeker friendly" church. Seeker friendly? I guess it all depends on what the person is seeking. If they are seeking the pastor's stamp of approval on their messed up lives...then yes, some churches are "seeker friendly". If they are seeking GOD...? Not so much.

Today

Today has been a long day for me! I worked on last week's coupons, got the oil changed (getting ready for our vacation!), talked to my Mom-online for a long time, ordered a portrait for a former client ( a 16x20-on board-turned out flawless!! I LOVE my camera!), delivered the portrait for the client, took Brooke to the doctor (she had a 103 degree fever when she got home from school.....my poor baby! Y'all pray she gets better soon! She is on antibiotics now), picked up Brooke's meds, finished supper and dishes, did some laundry and now I am beat! Brett thought he had no work tonight...since the last time he asked they said "no"-then, while I was picking up Brooke's meds they called him-demanding to know where he was at! Uh.....HOME! Since they never told him he had a job! I HATE that limo company!! There is NOTHING fair about it-NOTHING! They claim he is "self employed" but expect him to do WHAT they say, WHEN they say and for what PAY they say! Crazy! Anyhoo-at least it is a job...when he gets work!
I am just so tired from running all day and I miss him so much.....:(
I can not wait to spend our vacation together-he has a whole week off!

2:54 am

It is now 2:54 am as I type this. I am up this late (or early!) for 2 reasons. #1 being that I fell asleep early last night (thanks to that new prescription the doc ordered my to take 4 times a day!-NOT happening again!) and #2...since I did not get to see the election results, I was tossing and turning (in dread..fearing the worse), so I figured I just get up and look for myself. I think it is a sad....sad day in American. I can not express how disappointed I am in our country and the "Christians" who helped vote in such an evil man (yep.....I said it! EVIL! All you have to do is take ONE look into his eyes, with the discernment of a..........tree!). Now what? I pray that God has mercy on His people. And I pray that we are not here much longer to see the results of such a tragic decision our fellow Americans have made! God was not surprised by last night's election...... I am going to look at this as our pastor does...he said that GOD appoints leaders-it is there..in the Bible. However, on Sunday, our pastor said....(I am not quoting him-but giving you an idea of what he said)-He could appoint one who He uses to continue to pour out His mercy or He could appoint the one He uses to pour out His judgement. I guess God has had ENOUGH! Can you blame Him? Slam me if you want to.....I am really not up for debate!


it is NOW 8:17am...I have thought about the situation our country is in and I am enraged by everything I see or hear from the media-so I turned the TV off! Several things anger me....#1 being how everyone keeps saying Obama will be our first "black" president-when we could just as easily say he is a "white" president...right? Half is half now matter which side of the half you are on! I am not racist IN ANY WAY...if you know the work that Brett and I have done in the inner cities of our area..you would be assured of that! But...I have found myself becoming more and more angry over this whole mess and that is one thing that I would like to remind everyone! This election should NOT have been about race...if I had voted simply because a candidate was white...that would make me racist! And if you voted for a candidate simply because he was 1/2 black....that would make YOU a racist! So, I have been praying (for weeks now) for God to help me see the situation through HIS eyes and not allow me to become bitter.......or racist (that was really tough for me to say!). This morning...I felt like I got an answer from Him. God spoke to me and told me to hate the SIN not the sinner...to hate the blindness, not the people who are deceiving! People really are blinded and I am asking God to break my heart for them, and to help me pray for them to have their eyes opened. The Bible says "be angry and sin not"...well-I am furious and I am asking God to help me direct that anger to the SIN of our nation...not to the people who are the sinners!

You're walking on the fightin' side of me!

Ok-up until now I have been pretty good about stayin' out of the "political mess" but today I figured....I never keep my mouth shut about anything else-so why start now?! Let me first say....this is not meant to offend any of my dear friends who may be considering (or have decided) to vote from Obama (that's right....you know who you are ;)-but rather it is just a way for me to voice MY concerns and MY opinion (and since it is MY blog.......I am gonna let loose!). Ok........BRACE yourself....here goes! When did we , as Christians (for those of you who are), forget that we are supposed to be "One nation under God"?? When did we decide that our OWN needs/desires and "views" trump God's law? I honestly do not understand how ANY Christian can vote for ANY one (no matter what he promises us as a nation) who believes that it is alright to kill an unborn child.....or possibly even worse....thinks it is alright to kill a baby after he/she is born-because the parents have decided they do not want him/her. Obama believes in (and promises to lift the ban on) partial birth abortions and believes that it is alright to let a baby who is born alive, after a failed abortion, die from starvation or by refusing treatment for treatable medical problems. If you are not aware of what a partial birth abortion is.......in the least graphic way I can describe it..it is when the baby is born breech and all but the head is out of his/her mother's womb and the doctor stabs scissors into the base of the baby's the skull and removes the brain so the child will die. Another subject completely...but I wonder if that would be considered "humane" if a pet owner or farmer preformed something like that on an animal (hmm....PETA would be all over that!). WHERE are we going to"draw the line"?? WHERE?? Are we going to eventually allow the parents to take a baby home from the hospital and because the baby gets sick or just because he/she cries too much-allow that child to be murdered?? You may think that is far fetched-but I BEG to differ with you. I do not see much, if any, difference from that and what we allow NOW. What about our elderly and disabled people-will there come a day when we are tired of "dealing" with them or there is no one to care for them so we euthanize them? If you think I am nuts-think about it! 100 years ago-we'd never dream that killing a partially born baby would even be debated!

Obama also believes in "same sex marriages"-let's see.......now what does the Bible have to say about THAT? I can honestly say that if Obama promised me wealth, health care , peace on earth (AND I actually believed him)..I would not vote for him! I answer to a much higher power-and I can not imagine God being pleased with me for taking part in the death of these babies or allowing same sex marriages to become legal. We need to remember that we DO answer to God. God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for LESS than what America is doing now! When did we lose the fear of God and when did we stop holding up HIS standards? I think we've forgotten-that GOD is the one with the power and I believe that if we honor HIM then HE can bring change to our nation-Obama can't do it....McCain can't do it.....only God can really bring the changes we need-but only if we hold His standard up high and quit being selfish and greedy and more concerned about our own well being!

2 Chronicles 7:14 "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. "

Jer.18:7-10 "If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it."

"When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood; wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. defend the fatherless, plead the case of the widow."
~ Isaiah 1:15, 16, 17 NIV

I warned you that I was gonna "let loose"-and I am bracing myself for a flood of criticism, but I feel better knowing that I have had my "say" and I let my voice by heard. I am open to comments-the good/bad and the ugly. In fact .....I'd love to hear from ANY Christian who can justify to me why it is alright to elect Obama as our president.

If you really want to see what abortion does to a baby visit this site-warning! It is very graphic!

http://johnnyhudson.com/WhatAbortionReallyIs.html

**Side note.....for those of my readers who are NOT Christians(and I know there are several)-you may not understand what my point is-please feel free to contact me via email or comment section and I will be happy to tell you more about the God I serve. He is a loving and gracious God-but I fear that He is becoming increasingly angry with our nation and the condition of our hearts.**

Yesterday....

OMG! Yesterday was a stressful day......to say the very least! I have not yet decided if I want to post everything that happened-I want to "protect the innocent" (ME!) . I had the biggest range of emotions I have ever had! One second I was in tears...the next I was laughing so hard I could not breathe.....I was scared out of my mind and a few times...I was all these things at the same time! It is crazy really! Today.....I have to grit my teeth....walk into the DEMOCRATIC campaign office and pick up an OSAMA (opps! I mean Obama!) sign! That is going to be the toughest part of the whole situation! If you want to hear the whole story-feel free to email me! I still have not personally spoken to the cops yet and I do not want to incriminate any of my loved ones via a blog! LOL! Oh....and it is "reassuring" to know that Brett and my Mom laughed at us when I called them in a panic! Last night Brett just kept saying "There IS a box , honey.....There IS a box!". You can check out a few posts down if you want the story behind that statement!


This morning I am going to try not to think about the craziness and I am going to Melissa's to have coffee with her! I have several errands to run today (including my stop at the "Osama" (Darn! Did it AGAIN!).....Obama headquarters) so my day is gonna be just a busy as yesterday! BTW-Spencer had more testing yesterday, he was not able to complete it like we hoped (he ran out of "steam" and kept yawing through the whole thing!-I think because it was getting harder for him-NOT because he was tired!) anyhoo-we are gonna try to finish the testing up tomorrow!

This morning I had breakfast with Carol (thanks for treating me Carol!)-she is the friend from high school that I just recently met up with again. She is doing well in life-she is working part time and a real estate agent, she is married to an attorney, and they have two kids (a boy and a girl). Her daughter is friends with Madeline and I think that it is really neat to see our girls together! It reminds me of our "younger years"! Although, we became best friends in high school, not grade school. We shared a lot of good times and had a lot of fun together!

Well, this morning I was all ready to leave to meet Carol and I had 15 mins to kill. So...........I decide that I could clean out one of my kitchen cabinets during that time. I cleaned out the cabinet that hold all the "stuff" that we rarely use (blender, mixer,coffee grinder.......). I started washing out a tub, that I hold those things in, and I heard the RUSH of water coming from under my sink! Oh lordy......we already have a bowl under there, to catch the dripping water-but this was a gush and it started pouring out all over the floor! I guess when I was cleaning out the cabinet at the end I bumped a pipe loose and it came apart. So-I stopped the water, tightened up the pipe again and grabbed a towel to soak up the water. That is where I left it. Now.....I am home from breakfast and I need to face the mess all over my kitchen floor! Everything from all the cabinets on that side is out-all over the floor. I am gonna get started now!
We really, REALLY need to get the plumbing in this house fixed!!! Brett's bathroom has water running on and off all day (I can hear it but I do not know where it is coming from-it is not the toilet!), The kitchen has a leak again-(I replaced the pipes not long before my surgery!) and the water in my bath tub is impossible for me to turn on because Brett has to turn it off so tightly since IT is leaking! Oh.....yeah....one more thing!! The shower in Brett's bathroom can not be used AT ALL! It was pouring water even though it was shut off as tightly as possible-once we finally managed to turn it off-we decided never to touch it again! Now ALL of these problems (except the mysterious running water in Brett's bathroom) have been fixed by plumbers (who we paid BIG bucks too!) in the past.....and not long after they were "fixed" the problems reoccurred! We just can not afford to pay a plumber right now-but even if we could-it would seem like such a waste since they can't seem to do the job any better than we can!

Rocky

We were sitting in the living room watching TV when Brett asks "why is there a dog in our back yard?". We ran outside to find a strange dog that had managed to dig his way under our privacy wooden fence into our yard! He is a really cute dog........but we do not need another dog!!! We already have three! Brett and the kids have already gotten attached to it, they have given him a bath and a NAME! Rocky! I, on the other hand, have put up signs all over the neighborhood announcing that we have found a dog! Spencer spent about 45 mins reading to the dog and then he got out all his stuffed dogs and made up stories, using the stuffed animals as "visual aids", for the dog. He sat there and read to that dog and talked to that dog until the dog went to sleep!! I know I look like the "bad guy" here but really.......we do NOT need another dog!! I will keep you all posted on what happens!! Anyone want a dog??? CALL ME!

UPDATE: after a very stressful afternoon, dealing with our OWN dogs....(scruffy escaped through the hole "rocky" dug to come into our yard!)-I was more determined than ever to find the dog's owner! I went up and down our street-door to door......finally I got a tip that someone 2 streets away was looking for their dog earlier. So, the kids and I walked up and down that street until we found "rocky's" home. Turns out-his name is "scruffy"! The dog belongs to a little boy who has been searching frantically for him all day long. When we arrived at the house-the boy was with his aunt driving to a dog shelter in Land O Lakes! I am glad that we were able to find the dog's home! I know that the little boy is going to be so happy to see his long lost puppy! Spencer cried. He was sitting on the couch, eating a Popsicle, when he busted out crying!! He said " I loved that dog, he liked me, he was nice to me". I felt really bad for him but I tried to explain that he would want someone to bring "lady bug" (his dog) back to him if she got lost. Anyhoo-I am glad that we STILL have "only" 3 dogs!!

FYI

I am one of those people who opens every bill to review all the charges-some companies count on most people not caring! Anyhoo-I opened my Verizon bill today and noticed that it was nearly $40.00 more than it should have been. Looking into it I saw a charge from "ILD teleservices"-it stated it was for a "interconnect Internet access monthly fee" and it gave me a 3rd party phone # to call with questions. So, I give them a call to find out what was going on-turns out that someone entered my name, address, phone # and email address into a online contest and it automatically signed me up for a voice mail service that is billed by a 3rd party to my phone bill! I asked what IP address was tracked from the entry (to make sure it was not actually one of my computers that signed me up-never know with kids!) and it was a different Ip address! So, basically ANYone who has your basic info can have services billed to YOUR phone bill and most of the time they can get away with it as long as you do not check for the charges. Some of the charges may be only $4 or $5 but others can be $30 or $40, depending on what all the person orders. The crazy thing is that Verizon actually allows them to do it! We have our phone/Internet/DVR (tv) through them-so they know that they already provide us with voice mail and the know what our IP address is-so why would they let someone order that service from an IP address that is not ours? I am so furious! At this point I have spent 2 & 1/2 hours dealing with this!

At any rate......I wanted to remind everyone to check ALL of your bills when they come in! You may be shocked at what you find!

What really matters

Ok-I already know that my family is....well...."different". I get that. And I realize that I do not "fit the mold". I am ok with that too. What I do not understand is why other people are so caught up in things that really do not matter. Let me back up a little and say (for those of you who may not know)-I was in a car accident in 2004-it changed my life and how I view the world around me. In a matter of seconds my life could have been taken (thank God for seat belts!! USE them!). It was after my accident that the doctors found the tumor in my spine-I was shifted from doctor to doctor-test after test, and it took months to find out that I did not have cancer. Dealing with all of it really put my life into perspective and I realized that a lot of what we think "matters" really has no impact on our lives. Most of the things that we fret over and worry about-mean nothing in a life or death situation. I no longer worry about the small stuff, you WILL see me in Wal Mart with my hair pulled up, wearing no make up. You may see my kids (or me!) with pink hair, or chunky blond highlights. You will definitely find me wearing jeans on a Sunday morning (gasp!)-or even capris-with my tattoo proudly displayed! You will see video of me, my family, or my husband acting crazy-dancing to Toby Mac. None of that "stuff" matters. I have heard from a few of my readers that we are a "crazy" family (and not in a good tone-I will add)-it really is ok. They (or you) may not understand me-you may judge me by my appearance, you may not appreciate the things I find funny, you may even be offended by my kids having pink hair-but if you really knew me-if you understood all I have gone through to get to this point, you may be more accepting. I never want to hurt anyone, or truly offend people-but some people are going to be offended no matter what you do. So, I am going to live my life, really live my life, appreciating each and every day-knowing it is a gift from God. I can learn to accept differences in other people-but I really wish that everyone could know "what really matters" and what doesn't. I wish you all...the important things in life-family, health, happiness, love...... .

Our "Gillie Girl"

Tonight, "my thoughts" are on our little "Gillie". She was kidnapped about a month ago and I have been concerned about her. Her Mother took her and moved away-even though she does not have full custody of her. Gillie lived with her Daddy and her grandparents more than with her own mother and now she has been taken. She must be so confused. Please pray for her to have a safe return home! My Brother will be given full custody of her if they can locate her. My heart is with her tonight! We love you and Miss you "Gillie Girl"!

Didn't your Mama ever tell you....?

For the person whose comment reads- "Perhaps you may have more available cash, if it were not for Starbucks........You seem to spend a lot of cash there. May God bless. " Really?? Are you FOR REAL? I go to Starbucks-once a month for my "girl's night out" (and btw-just because I go WITH them doesn't mean that I always ORDER a coffee). And yes, when I go out on a date with my husband we stop for coffee. Unbelievable. I can not serious believe you. You make it sound as if I go there everyday! If I can not "splurge" on a cup of COFFEE-what do you suggest I do with my friends? I pinch pennies and cut coupons all month and you want to cut me down for going out for coffee? WOW! You should know the facts before you make a comment next time. There. Not that I really needed to defend myself for my "splurge"on coffee 2xs a month...but it sure feels good to let my voice be heard. I realize that by "putting myself out there" for the "world" to see I am opening myself up for criticism but I am not going to let it prevent me from being "real". I have not complained about our finances on this blog but rather I have given God all the glory for the ways He provides for us. So, when you say "God bless"-do you mean "God bless them-but not enough to be able to afford a cup of coffee?"